a motherless daughter

Posted by on May 9, 2011 in Blog | 14 comments

It’s Sunday, Mother’s Day,  night and somehow I’ve found the courage to write this post….

I am a motherless daughter.

About 3 months ago, on February 18th to be exact, I said goodbye to the most beautiful thing my life had ever known, my mommy. She was taken by a rare disease called systemic scleroderma.  She was 51 years old. There is not a moment of a day that goes by when I don’t miss her. And although there is a huge, massive void in my life, a pain so raw you can only explain it with tears, and a “Mom” speed dial button in my phone with no voice at the other end, I am not here to write about my pain or sadness. I am here to write about my mom and all of her amazingness just like I did last year, in honor of Mother’s Day.

You might be a million miles away, mommy, but I had to say Happy Mother’s day, because you are truly a mother worth honoring on this day.

Many of you know my mom personally. Many of you do not. Many of you interacted with my mom, a.k.a HBI social media manager, without even knowing it. Many of you have only met her once and others a million times. But either way, if you’re reading this blog you “know” a part of me, and if you know a part of me, you know a part of my mom.

I will steal Abe Lincoln’s words to help make my point…

I made this note for my sister for Mother’s Day. I know she understands this saying to the deepest like I do, she’s also a mother now and I know this is the kind of mother she will be. She’ll follow right in Mommy’s footsteps.

I love this quote from Abe because I truly believe it.  When I think of all things I am, and all the things I hope to be, the first thing I think of is my mom….

~ She taught me to be strong when facing adversity~
She fought her disease till the last day. With a strength that you had to see to believe. She had a zest for life that made her get out of bed on days when her body told her otherwise.

~She taught me to be selfless~
My mom was the most selfless person I knew. She would give up anything to help someone in need.  She was the person that always remembered what you were going through and  never mentioned her own struggles. She truly cared that much about others.

~She taught me to follow my dreams~
When I told my mom I wanted to start a non-profit, she did hours and hours of research to help me start. When I told her about starting my own stationery/invitation company she said, “You’ll be so amazing at that! How can I help?” She never doubted me. Even with the BIGGEST dreams.  Instead, she supported me wholeheartedly. She is the reason I have my own company, she is the reason HBI is where it is today.

~She taught me to listen to my heart~
Of course my mom taught me that being logical was necessary, but so was listening to my heart.  She taught me that God speaks directly to our hearts.  And listening to your heart is sometimes the easy part, sometimes it is harder to actually do what your hearts want you to….that’s where the strength lesson comes in handy.

~She taught to be humble and yet proud~
My mom was incredibly proud of me. She told me every single day. She also taught me to be humble. My mom was brilliant and creative and yet she never bragged of her talents. She, instead, bragged about those she learned from, and a few times that included me. I’ve never been more honored.

~She taught me to always put family first~
This one I learned from my mom’s actions, not her words. My mom always put family first. Whatever it took. Sometimes this meant big sacrifices and sometimes it just meant being thoughtful. I’m 25 years old and my mom still drove me to the airport. It’s nice to have someone drive you and drop you right off by the ticket counter, and if that put a smile on my face or made my day a little easier, my mom did it. A few days before my mom went to heaven, she was frantically looking for the computer because she wanted to “order stuff”. Only my dad knew she was ordering something special for our family to have and hold after she passed. Below is a photo of what my mommy ordered for her “team”…

These shirts came in the mail the day before my mommy flew to heaven.

I learned many more lessons from my mom, but those are some of the ones I cherish most. I was so incredibly blessed to have her as my mom. She impacted my life in such a way that I can’t breathe without thinking of her. She is all of me and I couldn’t be more proud.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, the most beautiful soul I ever knew…




This is the hardest blog post I’ve ever had to conclude.  I always looked most forward to my mom’s comments. They were so encouraging and loving. She was always my biggest fan….so I’ll re-live her comment from last year’s Mother’s Day post….

I can hardly read this through the tears in my eyes.
Each day that I get to spend with you is my best day. You are the inspiration and strength that drives me to keep on going. You are God’s gift to me…my most cherished gift.
The words in your post are beautiful, and I thank you not only for the words, but for being YOU…an incredible giving and loving daughter. Thank you.
I love you with all my heart! XXOO

14 Comments

  1. What an absolutely beautiful post – your mom was definitely an amazing person and I’m positive she’s looking down on all you’re doing with a huge smile on her face.

  2. I cannot fathom the incredible sadness it must have felt this past Sunday, nor the amount of strength it took to write this post. I can only think that your Mom is smiling down on you and continue to cheer you on each and every day. Hugs and prayers to you!

  3. What a beautiful tribute to your mom! I believe your words touched the very heart of God! The very qualities your mom had are now being exemplified through you. Your mom is your hero, and everything she did you will do and be! Allie you CAN FLY higher than the eagles because your mom is the wind beneath your wings. I LOVE YOU!!!

  4. This is simply beuatiful Allie! Through what your mom has taught you, her loving energy is still living on as you inspire others- including myself- to appreciate and cherish family just as much as you do. I think you’re mom is working through you, continuing to reach and inspire people even today- which is simply AMAZING!

  5. I am so proud of you for being able to write this amazing post about your mom. I’m so happy I’ve had the chance to ‘meet’ her through you — what you’ve written within this post is exactly how I would describe you. Thank you for sharing.

  6. This is such a beautifully written tribute to your mother. Thank you for being so courageous and sharing with us, your readers. I do know the pain of losing a parent at an early age. And I will share with you, that while you will never stop missing your mommy, the pain will start to pass at some point and the days will become easier.
    Hugs. -P

    • Patti, Thank you for your encouraging words and for sharing your loss. Your openness means a lot to me. Hugs to you too!

  7. Allie,
    I know yesterday was hard for you. I will never truly understand the love between a Mother and a daughter but after reading your post I am a good bit closer. You have been given an amazing ability, not just to write down your feelings, but to allow others to gain strength through your loss. I will give Lois the credit for that. Happy Mother’s Day Lolo!

  8. My mom passed away last year on Christmas Eve. This is my second Mother’s day without a mother….I can say that it does get a bit easier but the void never goes away. I had a couple of break downs during the day…one when I picked up the phone to call her…. just for a split second I forgot she was gone. Those days are fewer now but still a bitter sweet reminder of her absence.

    • Kelly, I am so sorry that we have to share this in common, but I appreciate you opening up and sharing your story and your pain. I find comfort in knowing it may get a bit easier, but I agree with you- the void is always there. Praying for you, Kelly. xo

  9. Thank you so much for sharing your loving memorial for your mother, Lois. Beautiful.

  10. Allie…

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It is moving beyond words. I know that your mommy would agree. I love you dearly, and although no one will ever be able to fill that gap, please know that you are still so truly cherished by others in your life. Your friendship is such a gift and blessing, and I know I owe a huge part of who you are to your mother.

    You are such a special person. What a beautiful post. I’m so proud of you.

    Love you tons.

  11. This is beautiful Allie ~ I know she’s very proud of each of her children and what they have accomplished and will continue to achieve as the years go by. I know how hard it is to lose a parent and how hard the holidays are (for me, it’s Father’s Day). I can tell you that it will get a “little” easier; instead of the sadness you feel on those days, you’ll start reminiscing about the “laughter and fun” you all had together. I miss Lo and when I look into Parker’s “beautiful” eyes ~ I see her. Love you, Connie

  12. Thank you for posting such a beautiful love letter to your mom and letting us share in something that’s so personal. Your mom was an incredible woman, and she’s left a wonderful legacy to the world through her children. You are one of the best people I know, beautiful inside and out. I know your mommy is still with you, watching how much joy you bring to everyone you meet. I love you, Prallie!

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